Things in The Past
by doorist
Summary: Randy and John let Cody in on a little secret, they know all about us writing their online slashworld selves and play up to it... But this all leads to some deeper, darker secrets being revealed from vulnerable!Randy's past. Rape, violence, slash.
1. Chapter 1

Things From the Past pt1 –

Posteuring? What The F*ck is Postuering?

*******************

Cody was lost in thought working out until his phone buzzed cutting off his music for a bit, breaking his reverie. He flipped it shut looking confused, wondering exactly what Randy's text was all about.  
He said they had to meet with John after dinner to discuss _posteuring _for tomorrow nights match.  
"What the fuck does that even _mean_?" he wondered as he let the leg weights gently drop back down. "Fuck knows," he shrugged as he got up, just time for a bit of a stretch and a smoke before heading out to eat anyway. He was sure he'd find out soon enough.

Randy grabbed the empty table in the hotel restaurant. He'd been waiting an eternity at the bar. '_Bout time,' _he thought but he smiled graciously at the waitress who showed him to his seat, "Thankyou," he said, only for the waitress to wink and grin like a loon back at him while tucking a bit of paper, presumably with her phone number on it, under the napkin. Randy pretended not to notice '_Fucks sake,"' _he grimaced, '_Don't they know I'm married? Geez man how can they be so brazen?' __  
_He ordered another large bourbon to try and chill the fuck out. God he'd do ANYTHING for a big fat spliff right about now, hell even a regular smoke would do, but he'd promised Sam, Vince, himself even, to go on the straight and narrow, and grow up a bit now he was a father. '_Bloody wellness policy,'_ he thought, then again it was the only thing that helped him get over his addiction, and he looked better than ever now he'd slimmed down, finally off the roids, he just wished it didn't have to include his vice of choice.

He could see John through the window in the hotel lobby signing about a million autographs, surrounded as usual by his adoring public. He couldn't help but chuckle, or snort with derisive laughter at John's face break into a huge grin as he posed for the umpteenth time that day. '_Patience of a saint, dude loves that shit,'_ Randy mused._ 'Easier when you don't get people swearing and screaming at you telling you how much you suck, right to your face though, calling you a fucking faggot, isn't it John?'_ he thought bitterly. He loved his job, especially loved being a heel, but it scared him sometimes how seriously some people took it, thinking he was exactly like his character in real life when that couldn't be further than the truth.  
The gimmick was just so good people bought it, especially as Vince was so up on them keeping kayfabe out of the ring too, setting up little confrontations with fans here and there, getting people screaming, swearing, spitting on him and having him overreact and stuff on purpose to sway people, keep the heat up. But deep down, so much hate directed at you gets to you eventually, especially seeing all the love John gets continuously everywhere he goes, it can start to wear even the strongest man down, feeling nobody loves you and knowing it's through your own actions. It takes a strong dude to deal with that, maybe someone stronger than him, no room for insecurity here Randy.

Right on cue, just as he was starting to depress himself, his phone rang and he brightened instantly, "Cody, bane of my fucking life, what's up man?"  
"Ortz, you in the restaurant?"  
"Yup,"  
"Any space at your table? They're gonna make me wait ages at the bar and I'm starving,"  
"Geez do you ever stop whining and moaning and complaining...?!"  
"Fuck you, fucker,"  
"Hmm, is that s threat or a promise? It's a date, either way,"  
"What?!" Cody spluttered and heard Randy supressing a laugh, "Dude you're fucked in the head."  
"Don't I know it."  
"There you are, I can see you sitting with all your mates..."  
"Ha ha very funny, Cody you wound me man, wound me deep in my heart," Randy was trying not to smile, knowing Cody could see him, and put his hand over his heart and a mock hurt look on his face.  
"Fuck you bitch, see you in a sec," They both flipped their phones shut in unison, smiling fondly and trying not to show it.

"Hey man,"  
"Hey," Randy looks up at Cody grinning down at him and can almost feel his face light up as he makes eye contact, Sam was right, he hadn't realised he did that. He'd have to work on it...  
"You eaten?"  
"Nah, just got seated dude," he looked around for the waitress who sidled up giving Cody an unamused glare as they ordered.  
"Oh and a couple more of these," Randy added, lifting his drink.  
Cody eyed him warily, "You ok?"  
"Yeah man, why? Do I appear to be less than my usual stellar self?"  
"Yeah, you do,"  
"Oh,"  
"And you said that a little too enthusiastically,"  
"Oh," Randy looked up, he had been going to deny anything was wrong, but Cody was watching him and he wasn't stupid, "How perceptive of you," he said instead. He looked down, rubbing the back of his neck, he could see Cody watching him out of the corner of his eye, looking slightly concerned.  
"Wanna come for a smoke after this Randy?"  
"Oh god I'd love one yeah, thanks Codes, sorry man,"  
"S'okay. So...you gonna tell me what's up?"  
"Well nothing really, I just had the weirdest conversation with Sam earlier, can't get it outta my head is all, has kinda thrown me a bit. Anyway, you gonna come to sort out the match posteuring with me and John after this?"  
"Dude I dunno what that even is,"  
"Let's just say we're gonna need a whole bottle of this," he indicated the bourbon with a nod.  
"Ok Randy now you're scaring me a little..."  
"I know it sounds so weird, it IS so weird, comes from John's mind after all. Man look at him out there, the big dork," They watched him for a minute until he spotted them and started showing off even more, Randy laughed, continuing, "Anyway he like showed me some stuff, online,"  
"Riiiiiiiiight..."  
"Like about ourselves,"  
Cody stopped mid gulp and raised his eyebrows,  
"Well yeah you're right to be worried in my opinion Codes. Have you ever googled yourself?"  
"No!"  
"Don't lie man of course you have! I'm surprised you haven't got your laptop here now in fact, youtube boy,"  
"Hey fuck you Orton,"  
"Maybe later," Cody's eyebrows shot into his hairline, as Randy continued, "Anyway, have you been on wwe universe?"  
"What on ?"  
"Yeah,"  
"Not the universe bit, oh god you guys don't blog on there do you?"  
"Nah, but John reads it all man, too many people hate me and it gives me a complex so I don't bother, but John loves it, and he found out about _fangirls ,"__  
_"What do you mean? Like the stalker ring rat ones hanging around trying to get laid?"  
"No, more like young, straight females who like certain male wrestlers for their bodies and write fantasy stories about them with other male wrestlers as characters, but like, real,"  
Cody nodded, "You mean like fan fiction?"  
"Yeah, that's what they call it, have you seen it before?"  
"Oh yeah loads, they have heaps about like Harry Potter and Smallville and Starwars and all sorts of stuff,"  
"NoI mean the stuff about us,"  
"Us? As in us, us?" Cody indicated themselves and Randy nodded, he quirked an eyebrow, "I didn't think you actually meant, like US. You serious?"  
"Deadly,"  
"Riiiiiiiight.... that's so, weird..."  
"Yeah, I know. Alot of it's written by chicks but is really gay,"  
"Yeah there's some real poor quality writers out there, god knows what makes them publish some of that badly written shit,"  
"No dude," Randy couldn't help but laugh, he lowered his voice and looked around to make sure no one was listening, "I mean, like, really _gay_, porn,"  
Cody snorted bourbon out his nose and nearly knocked his whole steak on the floor, "What the fuck??!" he whispered, looking totally scandalised, "That's outrageous!"  
"I know," Randy nodded, "These chicks get all hot over certain wrestlers in their trunks like grappling and shit, posing all oiled up next to each other..., and especially, like hanging out in real life... and they write about it,"  
Cody was just staring at him, "Riiiiight....and somewhere in there I've missed exactly what this has to do with us, and tonight?"  
"Don't look so worried Codes, it's not like we're gonna take photos of us all naked or anything,"  
"Well, good! But what exactly ARE we going to be doing? And just what exactly IS posteuring anyway?! And you said we'll need a whole bottle!" he lifted his drink accusingly then downed it in one,  
"You will need a whole bottle, to put up with John! Dude don't worry, John just likes to give the fans a little something back, awaken the muses so to speak, if it keeps 'em buying t-shirts you know, even better."  
"Like what exactly Randy?"  
Cody was looking murderous and kept glaring daggers out the window at John. Randy found it hard to keep the amusement from his voice  
"He just wants us to figure out what poses we're gonna do in the match,"  
Cody's eyebrows again disappeared into his hair,  
"It's me and Johns' first match together in ages and we know I'm punting Dave in the head right, so to get to that point there will be some choreographed posing,"  
"But, WHY?!"  
"Well, it's so embarrassing actually, but there's loads of sites dedicated to to me and John as if we're a couple, they call us centon and shit, and write all these gay porn stories about us,"  
"Slash,"  
"What?"  
"Gay porn fan fiction, it's called slash,"  
"Oh right," it was Randy's turn to quirk an eyebrow in Cody's direction, "And yeah, some stories they've even got me and John married and shit man!"  
"Whoah, fucking hardcore crazy, are they really graphic?"  
"Um yeah, very descriptive actually."  
Cody couldn't help himself he burst out laughing, "That's freakin HILARIOUS dude you gotta admit! And John makes you pose to like feed their obsession, all for a few t-shirt sales! HAha! brilliant! Do you read it?"  
"No!"  
"Liar. John does too I bet!"  
"Hey mister don't get too fucking cocky there's stuff about you on there too Cody, I'll show it to you if you don't believe me, why do you think John wants you there tonight? You're part of this now. Even on youtube there's videos people have edited together like love stories about us, like every time we've ever made eye contact has been turned into 'staring into each others eyes in lust', interspersed with me slapping you, you slapping me, lovers tiff, you get the drift,"  
Cody shifted uncomfortably in his seat surprised to find a semi stirring in his pants,  
"And you should see all the new stuff about you and Ted, codiasi they call it,"  
Cody was speechless for a second, "Oh what the fuck? You're on a windup mate. Me and Ted? That's insane! That's like me and Kevin or you and Nate,"  
"I know. I'll show you. You think that's bad, there's loads of stuff out there about the Hardy's, er, together too."  
Cody actually looked a bit green, "Don't tell me man I don't wanna know," he mumbled into his plate, "Hey does Sam know about all this?"  
"Yeah she was the one who brought it to our attention in the first place would you believe,"  
"Really?? That's a bit weird, if she like, reads it I mean, is she jealous?!"  
"She thinks it's hot! How weird is that!? This is my wife! That's actually what led to the weird conversation we had earlier,"  
Cody, intrigued, opened his mouth to ask about it but John sauntered up, practically bouncing off the walls with energy.  
"Eat up boys! We got work to do! Codester! Ortz fill you in bro?!"  
Cody nodded, biting his lip now, suddenly nervous if truth be told, and Randy shook his head laughing as they got up, throwing a few bills down on the table.

................


	2. Chapter 2

part 2 - The Education of Cody Rhodes

Upstairs Cody wondered where Randy had got to as he and John got out the elevator. John winked as he turned and sauntered down towards Randy's room, whistling merrily, with his hands in his pockets and a definite spring in his step.  
_'Where the fuck does he get all his confidence from?' _Cody wondered.  
He looked back as he turned the corner to see Randy emerge from the other elevator, he paused waiting.  
Randy smiled and raised his arm holding up a new, full, bottle of bourbon.  
" Told you we'd need one of these, nearly forgot," he whispered in Cody's ear as he strode past heading towards John, who made a mental note of what he'd just witnessed.  
"Hey! That's it!" John exclaimed, he'd been leaning against the doorframe of Randy's room but now he hurried towards them all excited. "That was hot! You gotta do that! Right as you climb in the ring! Exactly like that!"  
Randy looked at him out of the corner of his eye as he swiped his card.  
"Dude, what are you on?" he asked as John pushed the door open marching in, still enthusing.  
"Yeah me and Dave come out first. You, Codes and Manu do your slow steely glared walk down the ramp and climb into the ring. As the ref has his back to you, telling me and Dave to back up, you come right up behind Cody like real close and whisper some more sweet nothings right in his ear like you just did! But instead of looking at him like you wanna lick _him _stare into _my_ eyes the whole time you're whispering instead, but make out you're whispering the game plan at least, not sweet nothings in public you hear what I'm sayin'?"  
"You're fucked in the head John is what I hear," Randy told him, "But you're right though, it'll work,"  
"Yeah do it again!"  
Cody looked incredulous, never having seen this side of John before, he just stood there looking between them until Randy handed him a drink.  
He swigged gratefully, glad he had something to occupy his hands as Randy came up from behind and lightly brushed against him, bending his head down to Cody's ear. He heard Cody's breath hitch as Randy's whisper ghosted across his neck, and to his utter shame and annoyance felt goosebumps appear from nowhere.  
John watched, eyes narrowed.  
"Hey fucker you're meant to be staring into my eyes, poor Codester here looks like he thinks you're gonna go all vampire on him! And Cody, work on your viper stare there too instead of fluttering your eyelashes like a fucking girl, you guys s'posed to hate me an' Dave man! You gotta HAAAAATE us! Man this'll be fricken' hilarious! How am I gonna keep a straight face watching you two do that?! That pose is brilliant! The response that'll generate! Hawt damn!"

"Remind me why exactly you two do this again?" Cody said weakly. Randy patted his shoulder and rolled his eyes in John's direction as he bent down to switch on his laptop.  
"What he's saying Cody, is read these forums and communities now, then read them again after Raw airs tomorrow, John's fangirls will be posting new porno fanfiction about us like there's no tomorrow and there's nothing we can do about it."  
"I like being a muse, why not give them what they want? Where's the harm in a few subtle posteurings, speaking of which, Ortz, we gotta figure some stuff out,"  
"Yeah dude, give us a sec,"  
John watched as Cody sat down at the computer and Randy leant over him logging on, trying to find codiasi to start with.  
Nothing escaped John's attention to detail and he watched their interaction with interest, was theirs a closeness brought on by years of knowing each other and shared family intimacy? Or were they bumming each other? He and Randy had known each other for years now, but Randy didn't look at him like that.  
He watched Cody's eyes grow wide as the website loaded and he saw pictures of himself everywhere.  
John's focus switched to Randy who straightened up and stretched, revealing a hint of sweet sweet belly before topping up their drinks. Cody was engrossed already and quite speechless. John couldn't help but chuckle as he gasped at something on screen, "But how did they even know about the power rangers costume?" he whispered to himself as Randy raised his eyebrows smirking and turned his attention back to John.

"So, what you got in mind?"  
"Well, it's a big match,"  
"Yup,"  
"You and me squaring up for the first time in a loooong time,"  
"Yup,"  
"So I say we don't make 'em wait any longer,"  
"Okay...what you thinking?"  
"I'll be in the ring, but I'll be down," John dropped to the floor demonstrating,  
"Yeah.."  
"You tag in and walk over towering above me, I get on one knee and try climbing up you, hands all over your thighs, on your hips, my mouth level with your..."  
Randy laughed and pushed him back on the floor as John tried to nuzzle his crotch with his nose.  
"You're just a dirty old man John Cena!"  
"That's why you love me isn't it?"  
Cody's head snapped up and watched John over the top of the laptop screen, trying to clambour up Randy's body saying,  
"...and I'm so dazed and confused, and we're staring into each others eyes, but then I realise it's HATE IN YOUR EYES RANDY!" John's shouting now and Randy's laughing his head off, "Get the fuck off me you perve!"  
Cody's back reading but frowns as John lunges at Randy and and tries to hoist him for the FU before stacking it and landing with both of them on the bed.  
"You bastard John that was a full drink you made me spill there!"  
"Well you spilt it on me mostly so it's still salvageable right?" he waggled his eyebrows suggestively .  
"You're a fucker," Randy laughed as he rolled off the bed to get a new drink.  
"I know, sorry," John smirked stretching out getting comfy, holding his hand out for a new drink too.  
"You're not sorry," Randy turned noticing John's outstretched arm, "But you will be if you push your fucking luck!" he said handing John his own drink and making himself another, "But luckily that's one of the reasons I like you hey."

The next few hours were spent talking tactics, general nonsense and channel surfing.  
Cody meanwhile remained a permanent overwhelming shade of red and thoroughly engrossed in his new found fanfic world, only occasionally peppering the conversation with cries of, "Oh my god! They're making me and Ted have sex! After your wedding!" and various in depth descriptions of hot WWE slash recited to fits of uncontrollable giggling.  
"Rhyno and Kane???!!! Oh my god! What were they THINKING?!" and "There is SO much Matt and Jeff on here, gawd, I can't even read it, I'll get mental pictures, man I wonder if they know about this??!!"  
Cody couldn't help but wonder what miracles of fiction would appear after tomorrow nights match, and they had to cut alot of locker room promos in the next few weeks too.... His stomach was tying itself in knots it seemed, this was all just too weird. He got up for a pee and rolled a smoke,  
"Randy? You want some?" he looked to where he and John were lounging in front of the tv.  
"Hell yeah, thanks man,"  
They got up, deciding to head downstairs to sit in the car in a quiet corner of the carpark.  
"John? You coming?" Cody asked as they reached the door.  
"Forget him dude, total square," Randy smirked at John, closing the door behind him, but not quite quick enough to avoid John's middle digit.  
Still smiling John sighed and thought he might as well hit the WWE forums see what's new. 


	3. Chapter 3

Pt 3 Things Take A Little Turn For The Worst

Randy followed Cody downstairs in amiable silence, heading for the car. They actually drove to the furthest corner of the carpark, didn't want anymore wellness policy warnings now if they could possibly help it.

It was nice and dark, peaceful and quiet way back here, no one should be able to see them to get them in trouble, although they did feel a bit like naughty school boys sneeking around the back of the bike sheds. They sat in the semi darkness while Cody sorted all his bits out, retrieving all manner of things from the depths of his pockets.

He struck a match illuminating his face momentarily as he lit up, taking a deep satisfied toke. Randy watched, bewitched, but said nothing as Cody passed him the smoke.  
"Is he always so happy? So _'on_', all the time? Or does he just have A.D.D. like you?" Cody finally broke the silence.

"John? He just lives for this stuff man, the fans, the match,_ life_, he loves life." Randy stated.

"He loves_ you _more like," Cody mumbled incoherently to himself as he took another drag.

"He what?"

"Nothing."

"Anyway man, just take him with a pinch of salt, he's just showing off half the time. Is he bothering you?"

"I just don't know how to take him sometimes, how to act around him, he makes me nervous to be honest Randy. He's so, so, I dunno, what's a word for it, _exuberant _I guess, and confident all the time. It all just makes me feel a bit inadequate,"

"Aw, Codes, don't let him get to you man, don't let him unsettle you, that's what he's trying to do. It's just how he rolls, the big macho thing. I mean, you know, you've seen his muscle cars right, all just an extension of his cock! His 'I'm _so_ masculine' thing. And to be honest," he added as an afterthought, "If I know John, it's all just a confidence trick to hide his deeply hidden insecurities."

"John insecure??!" Cody laughed incredulously, "That's like saying Randy Orton Legend Killer is insecure! Never!"

Randy snorted something sounding suspiciously like laughter, "Dude, if only. Maybe my character in the ring is a different story, but me, I'm as insecure as the next guy,"

"What do you _possibly_ have to be insecure about Randy? Honestly?"

Randy shrugged, "I dunno, lots of things, my lifestyle, my looks, my body, my lovelife..." he looked up at Cody who was looking at him as though he was mad.

"You _are_ joking right? Ok life on the road is tough being away from your girls all the time, but you've got a beautiful wife and daughter who love you, a_ stunning_ body, since you stopped hanging so much with Dave Roid-tista and started eating right, dude you've turned into a work of art! You're not all puffed up and scary anymore, you're like a sculpture, your body is fucking perfect and you _know_ it, so don't give me any of that 'l_ooks_' bullshit man. AND to top it off you've chilled the fuck out now you're off Hulk Hogan's 'vitamins' and back on the weed again. Whatever it was that was making you so angry before seems to have calmed down a bit too, am I right?"

"Yeah, you're right about the anger side of things, I'm trying really hard with that. It's not just the forking out $30,000 for anger management retreats and the trashed hotel room bills that were making me stop, I think I just realised the reason I was so unhappy and angry wasn't going to go away, so I better just deal, y'know? I didn't _wanna _be a giant ass Cody, I only ever really wanted people to like me for me. Now I've come to terms with the fact that'll never happen. I can never just be me. My behaviour in the past has clouded people's judgement of me so much that people actually_ believe_ I'm that bad guy."

Randy sighed and re-lit the smoke, taking a long deep drag. He exhaled slowly and looked up meeting Cody's eyes.  
"But you know what Cody, having to suddenly grow up when Sam got pregnant helped give me that metaphorical slap upside the head I was _so_ desperately in need of, and having guys like you around, I feel like I can actually help in some way, return the favour so to speak of all the moral support I got when I was the new guy. But I'm not the new guy anymore so I felt like I was ready to step into those shoes, be a man, and try and help out,"

"Dude you help more than all the others put together,"

"That's not true,"

"Well you've helped ME more than all the others put together, I think so anyway. You've always been an inspiration to me. But geez, I'm sorry I never realised that you were so..."

"Fucked up?" Randy laughed.

Cody turned his whole body towards him, facing him in the passenger seat and gestured helplessly for a second, "No, I meant, sad."

"Sad?"

"Yeah."

"Well yeah, I guess. Hell it was all so long ago, I'm finally starting to get over it."

Cody looked at him and hesitated.  
"Over what? If you don't mind me asking. You can tell me to fuck off and mind my own business, but what do you mean you can never just be you? What happened to you Randy? Does John know about it? Is that why he's so protective of you?"

Randy passed the spliff back shaking his head, "No John doesn't know, Cody it's..."

At that exact moment a torchlight shone in on them through the window, scaring the living daylights outta them both. Cody nearly swallowed his smoke in fright until he realised it was John grinning at them like a maniac through the light.

"Hey hey hey boys! What's up?!"

"Fuck John what you playing at man?" Cody was scrambling around stopping ash burning him through his jeans where he dropped his spliff.

"I was bored dude! You guys left me alone for _ages_, I half expected to find you fucking the hell outta each other out here!"

Randy groaned, he was used to John saying that sorta thing, but Cody didn't look best impressed.  
"You shouldn't say things like that John," his voice was low, "God we were just TALKING! Having a civilised conversation! But you wouldn't know anything about that now would you? God why do you have to be so crass all the time? Can't you just take anything seriously for once in your god damned life?" He was shouting now and both Randy and John were stunned.

John was incenced, "Who the fuck do you think you are, talking to me like that Cody? You don't know _anything_, ANYTHING about me, so I suggest you shut the hell up before you say something you'll regret." he screamed.  
Randy was shocked beyond belief, he wasn't sure what was even going on here, but Cody was out the car in a flash, shouting back in Johns face.

"Something I regret??" He gestured towards his own chest laughing, "Something _YOU_ regret more like! Cos you're _jealous_!" He came closer, pointing at John, "That's what you are JOHN_ CENA_!" he almost spat out his name in disdain, "Jealous that I'M friends with Randy too!"

"_JEALOUS_??" John was now incandescant with rage, veins popping out the side of his neck as his jaw clenched, "YOU THINK I'M_ JEALOUS_ OF_ YOU_? YOU'RE A FUCKING_ PIPSQUEAK_!" he laughed at the sheer absurdity of the thought.

"YEAH! I DO THINK THAT! AND THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE FOR YOU DOESN'T IT! THAT HE'S FRIENDS WITH A LOWLY PIPSQUEAK LIKE ME!" Cody puffed himself up to his full height and got right in John's face, he figured he was gonna get hit for sure, but he didn't even care, he didn't know what came over him as he pushed on regardless.  
"Yeah, you're jealous cos you're fucking IN LOVE WITH HIM!" he shouted pointing at Randy who stared at him in disbelief.  
Cody even surprised himself there, he only had time to widen his eyes in shock at what he'd said before the full force of John's fist crashed into his jaw, sending him out cold and sprawled on the ground.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! _COOOODEEEY_!" Randy, who until this point had been backed up against the car in silent shock suddenly leapt into action to Cody's defence, crouching by his side on the ground, he was out cold.

"Cody oh my god oh my god, " he whispered, repeating it over and over, he turned to John, "What the fuck is wrong with you man? What have you done John, look what you've done John, WHAT THE FUCK JOHN WHAT THE FUCK?" he screamed.

"I knew it., I fucking_ knew _it." John growled stoney faced, jaw clenched, spasming, flexing his swollen knuckles.

"KNEW WHAT? Man are you _INSANE_? YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE! Cody? _Cody_? Come on, wake up now, Cody..? _FUCK_!"

"I know you're fucking him."

"_WHAT_??! Don't be so fucking _stupid,_ how can you even think that? I'm not_ fucking_ him,"

"DON'T LIE TO ME RANDY!" John shouted, his veins popping out his neck again like a man possessed.

"John, one more time," Randy growled, his voice dangerously low, "I'm not fucking Cody, and what fucking difference does it make to you anyway if I am?

"I don't believe you. I've seen the way you look at each other, the way you are together. I'm not _blind_ Randy. At least I know where your loyalties lie."

Randy was completely baffled, this had come from so far out in leftfield, "Dude, _what the fuck_? You know I don't ... you know how it's been for me since..."

"Since the military," John finished for him, "I know. I_ know_ Randy. And haven't I been there for you the whole time?"

"You have, yeah, I never said otherwise! John just tell me what this is all about man, please,"

"How about I tell_ you_ what it's all about? How about you tell _me_ Randy? I _heard_ you talking, you were gonna tell him weren't you? You were gonna tell _him_ the whole fucking story just like _that_! But you've never felt you could tell _me_! I've been there for you for YEARS now Orton, put up with all your moods and all your shit for what? 6 years?"

He breathed heavily, screwed his eyes tight shut and balled his hands into fists, "But you've never trusted _me_ enough to tell me your biggest secret, yet Runnels here, he's been here 2 fucking minutes and you were gonna spill it all. At least I know where I stand now, and I certainly know where I'm not wanted." He turned on his heel and crunched away on the gravel.

"_John!_ COME BACK HERE! Don't be a_ dick_, man you're talking shit! _Complete_ shit! And I can't _believe_ you were SPYING on us!_ JOHN_!"

John kept walking, footsteps disappearing into the distance, he didn't look back.

"Well I hope you're _happy_, I hope you're _satisfied_ with what you've done, I hope you feel like a big man now John!" Randy shouted after him, still cradling Cody's head in his arms, "Oh fuck, oh _fuck fuck fuck,_ John what have you done?..."

"It's ok," Cody croaked, "Go find him,"

"Oh thank god, I'm not leaving you here, fuck him,"

"I'm fine, go after him, I know you want to, you need need to make this right,"

"No way."

"He's right Randy, I've been around here 2 minutes and the two of you have been friends for years, I was so out of order, I just couldn't learn to keep my mouth shut, it's all my fault, I've ruined your friendship, I've ruined everything,"

"No you haven't, don't think like that, he was completely out of line, acting like a complete fucking jerk, he just blew up outta nowhere for no good reason."

"Randy, I've seen you two together too you know, I was watching you both tonight, I know it's killing you leaving it unresolved. When I was watching you both earlier, I have to admit, I was jealous too. I'm jealous of your friendship with him, I think that's why I egged him on. I didn't mean to, I didn't know what I was saying, I don't know what came over me, like a red mist, he treats you like shit sometimes you know."

"I guess so, I hadn't really noticed,"

"You're so used to it, you act almost like you feel you deserve it or something. Anyway, I could see the jealousy in his eyes when he looked at me, I recognised the signs, he got me so riled up, I was just thinking he doesn't even deserve to have your friendship the way he treats you sometimes. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all defensive of you like that, I know you can fight your own battles, I realised maybe you have some kind of little arrangement or something where you get him to treat you like shit, I dunno. I just got jealous cos you really helped me so much when I was new, and we got real close when he was away. It's been different since he got back and I guess I thought I might just get, you know, left out, or something," Cody sighed dramatically easing himself off the ground finally, holding his head, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause this Randy, you should go find him,"

"He'll keep. Cody there's no way I'm leaving you here after what he's done to you. And I'M the one who should be sorry, I didn't mean to leave you out.,"

"You didn't leave me out man, I was just scared that you would," he rubbed his jaw tenderly, "whoah, he got me a good 'un,"

"You ok?"

"Yeah. Let's get back in the car and have another smoke?"

"Fuck yeah,"

"Then more bourbon,"

"Yeah good idea. If John didn't down it all that is. I have a funny feeling that might be what caused this whole debacle."

Cody looked sideways at Randy as they got back in the car, "Er, maybe, but I think what really caused this is that John is in love with you Randy and you never noticed,"

Randy sat with his eyes downcast, inhaled deeply and sighed. "Do you really think that?"

"Yeah. It's so obvious."

"Is it though? It's not to me."

"Randy, do you really find it so hard to believe that someone loves you?"

"But I've been such a shit the whole time he's known me,"

"Yeah and he_ still_ loves you, 'cos he's seen through all that and seen the real you. He loves you for you, I thought that's what you wanted?"

"It is," Randy admitted.

"So what's the problem?"

"I just don't love him like that Cody. He's my best friend and I love him to bits, I do, but I'm not _in love_ with him. Though I feel so guilty now, do you think I should give it a go?"

"What a relationship with him?" Cody asked in surprise, Randy nodded, Cody laughed.  
"Randy you're not serious?! You can't help who you fall in love with, or not fall in love with in this case. Think about what you'd be throwing away here for a start! Hello! Your wife! Daughter! Remember them? You can't just _give it a go _as you put it, because you feel bad about not noticing or reciprocating his feelings."

"Er... there's maybe some stuff I need to fill you in on at some point soon Cody... anyway I guess I was just reacting to what you said, that he loves me for me despite how I've been, and I never noticed but now you've pointed it out and that is what I wanted so what's stopping me?"

"Well the fact you don't love him for a start, and again, the whole wife and kid thing..."

"Yeah, about that,..."

"Did you ever sleep with him? Cos that would've got his hopes up," Cody said accusingly.

Randy sighed, "Once, yeah, we were so sooo drunk, not that that's an excuse, way back at OVW. And the odd drunken blowjob or mutual wank. Man, you know how lonely it gets stuck way out there."

Cody nodded, "Yeah..."

"Not for ages though, not since Sam," Randy looked over at Cody who was looking right back at him, _'and not since you,' _he added silently to himself.

"You really should tell him Randy,"

"Tell him what?"

"What happened to you in the marines,"

"Yeah, I know. It's not that I've been hiding it from him, I just didn't want to burden him with it,"

"I understand. And earlier, you weren't gonna actually tell me either were you? He just got the wrong idea?"

"Yeah, But I _will _tell you,"

"Yeah, I think it's the right time, don't you?"

"Yeah. I also think you're wise beyond your years Cody Runnels."

Cody smiled, and they just sat for a while, smoking in silence, lost in their own thoughts.  
"I think I need some pain killers," Cody eventually piped up.

Randy looked at him as best he could in the moonlight, "Yeah, you got this whole elephant man thing going on there. Come on, let's get you inside and get some ice on that jaw,"

"And some more booze,"

"And some more booze." 


	4. Chapter 4

Pt 4… It Couldn't Possibly Be True, Could It?

Randy couldn't help checking his phone as they made their way back inside. Cody watched him do it about 4 times until he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Dude, just send him a text. Tell him to drop by the room later. You need to sort this out before the match tomorrow otherwise all your cleverly planned posteuring will be in vain. And not to mention the fact that the next few months storyline hinges on us being over enough with the fans to get the required heat to carry on with this storyline, so don't fuck this up for me."

"Yeah. yeah I know. I'll let him cool off a bit though first,"  
"Yeah, fair enough."

As soon as they walked through the door they spotted John at the bar, with Dave and a couple of girls, drinking orange juice? Unlike him... Luckily John had his back to them, surely not an accident, they all wanted to avoid confrontation in public if possible, and they managed to make their way through the lobby and head upstairs unnoticed.

Randy picked up the bourbon back in his room, "Man he sure made a fair dent in the bottle,"  
"Shit yeah. God I really feel for him now. I hadn't realised I've been building up so much resentment towards him for ages, but now I understand why he acts that way, like a total _jerk_, but it's literally all an act, cos he's crying inside..."

"Oh fuck's sake dude, I'll text him now, Ok? Talk about laying the guilt trip on thick," Randy grumbled handing him a drink and trying to find the whereabouts of his phone.

"_Sorry_!" Cody settled on the bed with a smirk and his bourbon, holding the cold glass to his face and flipping channels.  
Randy hesitated over what to say to John, just staring at the screen. Cody took the phone from him and started pressing buttons, he showed Randy what he'd written-

_**- john - we need 2 talk. pls come by the room when ur free. i'll wait up 4 u - k? **_

Randy nodded, Cody hit send and handed the phone back as Randy settled down beside him to watch the box.

Finally, it felt like hours later, there was a tap on the door.

Cody sat up, "Do you want me to go?" he whispered,  
"You can if you want, but I'd like you to stay, if you don't mind. I think you need to hear what I'm going to tell him anyway."

"Ok. Can I stay lying down though? I'll pretend to be asleep, I don't really wanna have to talk to him yet. Besides it'll look way bad if I up and leave, we don't know how he's going to react yet and he might jump to the wrong conclusions again,"

"Yeah true. Well get in bed then, quick,"  
He padded to the door.

On the other side stood a very tense John.

He'd been checking his phone constantly since he'd stormed off and had almost cried with relief when the message first buzzed through.  
For a while he'd expected Randy to never speak to him again, then he figured it could just be a text saying exactly that, and he couldn't bring himself to read it.

He felt such a fool, admitting everything to himself, admitting nothing to himself, he wsn't even sure he could remember properly what he'd actually said.

But he knew he was out of control, and well out of line, and he knew he'd KO'd Cody, he had acted like a proper ass of the highest order.

He almost chickened out of knocking altogether once he arrived at the door, he stood for a few minutes looking at it, imagining it opening and Randy just full on decking him. 'Well I deserve it,' he thought,and he trembled a bit as he finally knocked.

"Hey,"  
"Hey,"

"Come in man,"

"I need to apologise,"  
"You certainly do,"  
"Is Cody here?"

"Yeah," Randy nodded towards the bed, "He's asleep. Now don't go getting any wrong ideas, you really hurt him and I wanted to keep an eye on him, make sure he's ok,"

"Yeah, I understand. Is he ok?"  
"He will be."

"I'm real sorry man."

"Good. You should be. You've fucked him right up. You're the last person he wants to see right now, yet he was the one who forced me to get you round here to sort all this out. I can't believe all this shit even happened in the first place! If it was just up to me John, I wouldn't even be talking to you yet, and saying that, as much as Cody had our best interests at heart in terms of trying to save our friendship, I think you can probably thank the fact we've got a huge match tomorrow and he doesn't wanna see his career go down the pan cos of you."

Randy motioned for him to come inside, hearing the voices of a few of the other boys coming out the elevator, he didn't want any of this to go any further than it already had.

John moved into the room, he didn't know what to say and stood awkwardly as Randy closed the door.

"Wanna drink?" Randy couldn't really think of anything else to say either.  
"Better not,"  
"Yeah, I think you had enough before," he said wryly as he poured himself another.  
"Yeah,"  
"You calmed down any?"  
"Yeah. I'm so sorry,"  
"I know. So am I, sorry about this sorry mess."

John was looking anywhere but at Randy, who lifted his chin so their eyes met briefly before John's eyes darted away again.

"John, look at me a minute, I'm sorry too, ok? I just want you to know that... about everything, ok?"  
"Ok, but why? It was all me, I had no right, Cody was right all along, I AM jealous of you two Randy, I was so irrational and I know that's no excuse, I had no right..."

Randy had never seen John look so defeated.

"John, let's just forget it, yeah?"  
"What?"  
"Let's just forget all about it,"

"I don't know if I can,"  
"Well, let's at least try. cos what I'm about to tell you, I may need all the friends I can get by the end of it, I'm not quite sure how I'll deal with actually voicing it all, it's been rattling around in my head for so long."

"If you're sure,.."  
"Come on, sit down, I need to tell you everything, I've made the decision now."  
"You dont have to do this Randy,"  
"I think I do now, it's about time, I think so anyway, then we can clear the air and start again."

They sat on the couch and looked at each other.

"You still have to sort things with Cody though,"  
"I know, I know he's a good guy, and I know you two are really close, it's obvious he means an awful lot to you, man I can't believe I fucking hit him, Randy I honestly don't know what happened, it's like I just snapped, I can't explain it."

"Yeah," Randy hesitated, "Maybe I can shed some light on the matter. I've been sitting here dwelling on it all night and it all felt so, like, familiar to me, I'm sad to say I recognised myself in all that."

"You're not like that now, and you never full on decked someone, you've always had more restraint,"

"Well, tell that to all the hotel rooms... I dunno man what I'm saying is I just understood. I think you snapped 'cos Cody called you out."

"Huh?"  
"He called you out on something you hadn't even had a chance to recognise in yourself yet, let alone come to terms with, but he saw it. And that hit you like a freight train, you went straight on the defensive and retaliated the only way your instincts know how, with your fists. I think maybe you knew you'd been feeling jealous but didn't get why, didn't realise what the underlying feeling was, and were so good at hiding it by being super John, then as soon as Cody said it your brain went into overdrive realising the insinuations."

John just stared at the floor.  
"I realised that I was jealous of my best friend having another friend, who was a man, and I thought-- but why?"

"Did you realise why...?" Randy asked gently.

"I wanted you all to myself, how it used to be, you know, before Cody came along, just the two of us, I wanted all your attention focussed on me, and it wasn't,"

"And how did that make you feel?"  
"It made me feel you were fucking him, so illogical, and I built up so much resentment towards him, for no good reason,"

"And did you wonder why you even thought that?"

"I dunno, and then i thought, why do I even care that they're gay? Then I realised but who said they were gay? No one, I realised. Then I realised that I didn't care if you were gay, I cared that I was, and that's what the problem had been all along, I just didn't see it,"

Randy nodded.  
"Then suddenly you realised what it all might mean, but all these thoughts didn't come through rationally, you arrived at that final thought in the blink of an eye and it shocked you as it hit you, you didn't even have time to think as your fist reacted with gut instinct to what you've just discovered about yourelf, cos that is sooo not you, you lash out, deny it all, there is just no way, no fucking way, and you're so fucking angry that you had to leave, get away, straight away."

John nods, drawing his knees up to his chest on the couch, "And that's when it all comes crashing down, cos then it hits you, right between the eyes, and you just wanna die, you think you've ruined everything. It's all your fault and you don't know what to do. You don't know how to make it ok."

"Yeah."  
"Yeah?"

"Yeah, but it will be."  
"It will be ok? I really can't see how,"

"It will."  
Randy wondered how to tell John exactly what he was trying to get across to him, to make him see he was relating to what he was saying.

They sat in silence a minute or two before John gave him his inroad by asking quietly,  
"Do you think reading all those stories about us made me this way?"

"The stories made you this way? No. Maybe they just made you realise you were this way."  
"I guess. 'Cos they didn't make you this way."

"No. Because I already knew I was this way before I ever read the stories."

John slowly looked up and turned towards Randy, his brow furrowed.  
"What do you mean? That you're.. are you..?"

"Yeah," Randy said softly.

John looked bewildered.  
"But, bbut Randy... but, Sam, and... have you always been...?"

"Yeah, I think so, but I didn't always know."

"But when I said that thing about you and Cody, I didn't really mean it, you know? I mean, maybe I thought he had, I dunno like a little man-crush on you, but I never really thought you... I mean with Sam, and..." John shook his head in disbelief.

"I know. Believe me, it took some getting used to John, it only really sank in because of Sam."

"So you and Cody...? What do you mean because of Sam? Randy please tell me what happened to you, I need to understand."

Randy put down his empty bourbon glass, then decided against it and topped it up instead, sighing heavily. He took a deep breath and looked up, John sat still, his mouth slightly open, looking like it was all a bit too much for him.

Randy sighed again.  
'I may as well just let it all out now,' his internal reasoning decided for him.

"Ok, firstly, I wasn't lying before, there is definitely NO me and Cody, I don't think he, er, plays that way, so to speak. But if he did, I'm not going to lie, I'd be more than interested, and I'd be first in line,"

John nodded in acknowledgement and glanced over at the "sleeping" figure in the bed.  
"Well yeah, I can understand that," he said, but his shoulders slumped almost as if in defeat, he realised Randy was trying to let him down gently.

He looked back at Randy as he continued, "..and as for Sam," he looked John straight in the eye, "She's the love of my life John, and she knows everything I'm about to tell you,"


	5. Chapter 5

Pt 5… The Walls Come Tumbling Down

They got themselves comfortable on the couch again.  
John waited quietly, but Randy wasn't sure where to begin.  
"I guess it all started on the last day of highschool. We'd graduated and everyone was like ecstatic, and _everyone _was at that party. It was a crazy night, everyone was totally wasted, good times man," he smiled remembering, John smiled too, remembering his own graduation night, he certainly wouldn't forget that night in a hurry.

"Anyway, I was chatting to a few of the guys on the football team, about what we planned to do next, moving far away for college and life's big adventure you know.  
Soon it was just me and this one dude left, I knew him a bit but we weren't what you'd call friends as such, but he was cool, he was ok. I remember we were laughing about something, can't remember what, and next thing I knew he'd leaned in and _kissed_ me." he paused remembering.

"It was like in slow motion, or maybe that was just the beer and weed, but suddenly I had a moment of clarity. It was like I just came to, or woke up from a dream, I was shocked beyond belief, appalled, disgusted, confused, but I was tingling,  
I felt alive, aware of every sensation as he kissed me, it was so gentle, like he was asking permission. It took my breath away."  
Randy smiled, Cody and John both noticing how his face lit up as he remembered.

"He pulled back and looked me right in the eye, saying nothing, but his eyes said it all, asking if it was ok for him to have done that. I must've just looked freaked out 'cos he said he was sorry, and that he'd wanted to do that for ages.  
He said it was only the fact that we were prob'ly never gonna see each other again which was a good excuse cos it was his last chance.  
I was still so dumbfounded I literally couldn't speak and was probably floundering like an idiot,"

"Nothing new there then," John couldn't help but interject.  
_'Shut the fuck up John,' _Cody thought to himself from his spot in the bed.

A hurt look crossed Randy's face but he just continued,

"He was laughing at me too I'm sure, he was smiling at me and told me I was so cute when I was lost for words and he'd never seen me like that before, and then he kissed me again.  
I was so so wasted I think I was prob'ly totally incapable of processing anything at that moment in time. Next thing I knew though we were somehow in a cupboard, and he was kissing me again, and I think I was prob'ly kissing him back too but I don't really remember.  
What I _do_ remember however is him undoing my belt, looking me right in the eye, still kissing me even deeper, and then his hands making their way into my pants.  
Suddenly he was on his knees and he sucked me off right there at the party.  
And I let him.  
I knew what he was doing, and I didn't make him stop.  
And he made me cum.  
And that made my brain explode.  
It fucked with my head BIG time, cos I wasn't _gay _man!  
No way!  
No fucking WAY was I fucking _GAY_!  
So I left,  
I freaked out, I went nuts for weeks, I didn't know what to think and I got myself really fucked up."

Randy poured himself another drink and nursed it for a second.

"And that's when I decided to join the military."

He drank deeply and sighed.

"It was a last minute snap judgement. I blew off college cos I thought I needed to learn how to be a man first before I showed myself in public.  
So that's how that happened.  
But when I got there it definitely wasn't the right decision, I fucking _HATED_ it, I hated it so much. And to top it off, I started getting shit off these older dudes, and my commanding officer hated me too.  
The thing is, I was trying really hard, but nothing I did was good enough for them.  
One night, I'd been put on laundry duty, everyone's laundry, as a punishment, and these five particular dudes come in bringing loads more stuff, which I realised was all my clean kit, dumping it on the floor, saying I was too slow and it wasn't good enough and I'd be punished, 'cos I needed to be taught a lesson." he spat out the words savagely.

"They kicked five shades of shit outta me. I let them. I still felt like I deserved it, almost needed it."  
Randy felt hot tears pricking the corners of his eyes and rubbed them furiously.  
He could feel John and Cody's eyes boring into him.  
He looked down, unable to meet their fervent gaze.

"They left me there on the floor, but this one guy, the worst one, instead of following them out he locks the door after they go and turns back to face me, walking back over real slow, undoing his belt.  
And John, I was petrified.  
I really thought I was gonna die.

He asked me what I was so scared about, and told me not to worry, that he would make me all better, that he would make it all ok. I've never been so fucking scared in all my life.  
But he didn't hit me with his belt, he undid his pants and started stroking himself, kissing me and stroking my face. He kept telling me I was beautiful. If anything that only made me more scared, but I refused to cry. no way."

John looked on as Randy leant right forward, hanging his head, rubbing his hands over his hair, and heard his breath hitch,  
" I can't quite believe I'm about to say all this out loud, I've never told anyone before, Sam guessed it all and saved me the trouble."

John just nodded, unsure what to say, but quite sure he knew what was coming next. He didn't know how to react so he just nodded again and patted Randy on the back.

Cody's own breath hitched from his position in the bed and he wanted more than anything to go to Randy, but he wanted him to be ok aswell and didn't know if his attention would be welcomed at such a delicate moment, so he just continued to look on from under the covers, crying silently to himself on Randy's behalf.

Randy continued in a quiet voice,  
"He flipped me over and fucked me."

Tears started to roll down his cheek, Cody buried his face in the pillow to stifle his sob and John's heart broke for Randy.

"But he was so nice about it," he said matter-of-factly. "He was kissing me, holding and caressing me, whispering that he promised he wouldn't hurt me, that he would make me all better. But he did hurt me, and I felt so dirty, and cheap, so, I dunno, but I felt like I deserved it and needed to be punished for being so weak.

It hurt so much.

Then to my utmost horror and humiliation, I felt myself getting hard.  
I still can't comprehend why.  
God I feel so ashamed admitting it.

it's the thing that has fucked me up the most just knowing it happened. I nearly died of shame, and I didn't understand why it was happening. I wanted to die and I promised myself that would happen the next day if I somehow survived the night, cos I was still sure he was going to kill me.  
What the fuck was wrong with me??

I was being raped and I was fucking turned on??? I told myself it was a defence mechanism, it was the close physical contact, hey I was a young horny dude right? We got hard all the time for no reason at all right? At least sex was involved this time and if there's any time to get a hard on then that's it.  
Right?

But I was appalled, disgusted with myself, so humiliated yet I was _enjoying_ it, once I got past the pain it felt _incredible, _and he knew it.  
He knew exactly how he was making me feel, and that was exciting him more, and the more urgent, harder and faster he pushed the closer I got, and we both came at the exact same time,  
I literally saw stars.  
He stayed with me for a bit, it was weird, kissing my neck and stuff, but I just stayed lying face down on the ground, hiding my face, crying my heart out. I couldn't stop once I started but there was no way I was gonna let him see me do it.

Eventually he left and I must've fallen asleep or passed out, cos that's where they found me the next morning. They took me to the medi-bay cos I was in a pretty bad way, but I refused to tell them a word about what happened. I dunno why, some kind of stupid pride, and cos I fucking hated my commanding officer.  
He hated me already and blamed me somehow as usual, I was used to that by now.  
Anyway, he said he'd get his son to bring some of my things, and guess who walked through that door. I thought it was all an elaborate joke, I thought I was definitely in for it again, cos he was all swaggering as usual and his dad knew he was a bully. I must've had the panic in my eyes, cos as soon as his dad turned and left he came straight over and started stroking my hair again, telling me it'll be ok, soothing me, and he stayed with me for ages.  
Maybe his dad didn't know what he was really like after all.  
He came back the next day, and the next, and helped me move out when I was cleared. He was the same as ever in his gang of bully mates but in private, just me and him, finding places to fuck all over the base, I fell head over heels in love with him, and I'd never been happier."

John looked shocked, "But he raped you Randy,"

"I know.  
He caused me more pain, humiliation, suffering and self loathing than I'd ever felt before, but he also showed me more love and affection than I'd ever felt before, and that won me over, with every fibre of my being I loved him.  
How sick and twisted is that?"

"Pretty fucked up, yeah," John agreed and Cody glared at him from under his pillow, _did the man have no compassion?__  
_  
"Anyway, a while later, we were on leave, and were declared AWOL 'cos we didn't get back to base on scheduled time. The truth of the matter was that his dearest dad, our _superior _commanding officer, had caught us fucking in his house and kicked us out. Right then and there, no clothes, nothing.  
By the time we managed to get back he'd declared us AWOL and decided our punishment.

We were being shipped out. Apparently we suddenly were ready for combat.  
It seemed his daddy hadn't taken the news his precious son was a _'fucking filthy little faggot'_ too well at all.  
So he decided to split us up and send us to war to make us grow a pair.

I point blank refused. Fuck that!

I got a month in military prison for my trouble for directly disobeying a senior officer, and by the time they let me out he'd already been shipped  
and was already dead."

John hung his head in disbelief and Cody gasped out loud, he'd long since given up pretending to sleep, "What? Oh my god Randy I'm so sorry."

"When I found out, that was the end of me. I literally fell to pieces, couldn't eat, walk, talk, sleep, nothing. I just stayed curled up in a ball. Finally they called my dad to come get me and I got out on a rushed dishonourable discharge on grounds of _'mental health issues' _ which we all could guess really meant, being a filthy faggot."

"Fucking hell Randy," John couldn't stop shaking his head, and Cody was kneeling on the bed now, just sitting, silent tears running down his face wanting to go to Randy more than anything.

"See," Randy began desperately, " I didn't wanna tell anyone any of this cos I didn't wanna burden them with all my fucked up problems, that's why I never said anything, can you see why?"

"I'm so sorry for forcing you,"

Randy shrugged.  
"Don't be sorry, I guess it had to come out eventually."

Cody took a deep breath. He made his way to Randy's side where he'd slumped to the floor, and gently just held his hand. Randy looked up and met his eyes, surprised, "What happened next?" Cody asked quietly, "What did you do?"

"Dad took me home and I practically ceased to be. At first I was literally incapable of doing anything at all my head was just so fucked up. My dad was awesome though, so patient with me, encouraged me to get into wrestling to try and physically get through it. That's when I snapped. It was like I came out of the trance, but I got angry instead."  
Randy couldn't help but laugh now, in a completely humourless way, "And I stayed that way for fucking years."

"Well I'm not surprised." John said indignantly.  
"Yeah I guess,"  
"Well it makes perfect sense, if you know the reasoning behind it."  
"But it makes me look like an arrogant prick with a giant chip on my shoulder if you don't know the reasoning behind it, which is the way it looks to the entire world." Randy reasoned.  
"Yeah, I guess," John could only shrug in agreeance.

"Randy, how does Sam fit into all this?" Cody asked, and Randy smiled fondly.  
"I love her so much,"

John and Cody exchanged a glance, both utterly confused now.

"I first met her when dad brought me home. We'd hang out and stuff, became close over the years, little bit of fooling around but nothing serious.  
I was trying to supress my true self entirely after I joined OVW, I was home one time and were out having dinner and there was this guy kept staring at us, it was making me real uncomfortable and I was trying to ignore it.  
But eventually I looked at him thinking '_what the fuck's your problem man?'_ and then I realised who it was, the guy from highschool, and I freaked out a bit.  
Sam noticed and asks if I know him, I'm just like 'oh not really just from school,' Now I don't know she knows him, and by this stage knows he's gay too, and she knows bits and pieces of my time in the marines and she just kinda assumes all the right things.

But she's so cool you know, she didn't say anything, didn't make me sweat. Then next time I'm home she tells me she's met someone and wants me to meet them.  
I'm really happy for her of course, and for some reason a little disappointed, like maybe I'd figured I could live a happy enough life with her, make a go of things?  
Anyway, so I'm at her place and her guest arrives, and it's the person I thought was her best friend, her best _female_ friend, _Jennifer_, is her _lover!__  
_and it turns out she sees me like some kind of gay best friend! So I was the first person they told. They didn't want anyone to know yet.  
Then Sam reveals she knew for ages that I'm gay too, and everything went from there.

I totally threw myself into wrestling, I found I loved it, I wasn't too bad at it, I made new friends, and I found I could forget, so I got obsessed. And I sure as hell was still angry, which just seemed to fuel me, I was so driven.  
Meeting you and Dave got me thinking I needed to be bigger, then meeting Hunter and Ric made me think I needed to be better, so I got obsessed with the gym and the god damn roids.  
When I started to go off the rails again Sam put up with so much shit from me, especially when I got my first warning in the drug tests.  
She tried to get me smoking weed instead just to calm me down,and it really worked, and then she made me see a doctor which got me a diagnosis and some pills for having A.D.D. which helped calm me down too. Ironically my biggest suspension was that time I got caught with the weed though!"

"Yeah I wondered what the hell was going on with you back then,"  
"I was pretty fucked up,"  
"Well no wonder,"  
"Yeah I guess.

Eventually after a few more years we agreed to make it a public relationship for WWE reasons, and bought a big enough house when we got married so Sam and Jen can have their own wing and I can have mine when I get to come home.  
Sam is on my arm by her choice as well as mine for every necessary occasion and Alanna is my real daughter and the love of my life."

John had absolutely nothing to say.  
Cody was sniffing a little and was looking kinda dazed and a little wide eyed. "Wow," was about all he could muster, "I totally never saw any of that coming,"

Randy shrugged at him, "Yeah, you couldn't make this shit up could you?"  
"Yeah man it sounds like one of John's fan fictions!"  
Finally something that elicited a chuckle from all three of them, and they lapsed into a companionable silence, simply needing to be alone with their thoughts, to digest all they'd just shared in, and being there for each other. 


	6. Chapter 6

Pt 6… A Slightly Lighter Burden

As the three sat there in quiet contemplation, Randy realised he felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  
He definitely felt his burden was a little lighter, he just hoped he hadn't transferred any of it over to his two closest friends.

He realised he'd been, _scared_.

He hadn't wanted to tell anyone because he was scared of what they might think of him, scared of rejection.

If truth be told, he still wasn't sure how John and Cody would react after it all sank in. They were both very quiet.

But at least they were both still _here_, right?

They hadn't freaked out on him, yet.  
That was a start at least. If they did decide to make their excuses and just up and leave, well, he felt he could deal with that, damnit, he could understand why.

Cody was still clutching his hand, Randy didn't want to let it go, but John reached out and pulled him away into a stiff, manly, _very_ manly, awkward hug, of sorts, and clapped him on the back, slightly harder than necessary of course.

"Dude..," was about all he could think of to say as they sat back again.  
"Dude..," Randy agreed in response, "Dude..., thanks man."  
"Thanks? For what? Randy there is absolutely no reason for you to be thanking me, I still owe a few apologies," he looked towards Cody, embarrassed.  
Cody, grimacing, just shrugged and looked away.

"I just meant, you were right, I should've told you sooner, both of you," he picked up Cody's hand again and squeezed gently, "I feel alot better. So, thanks," Randy nodded sincerely, just realising it himself, "Bet you're glad I didn't tell you sooner tho; huh?!" he added with a smile.

"Randy, you jackass. I'm _always_ here for you, we both are, you should've known that. I'm just real sorry you didn't feel you could tell me before, 'cos maybe I coulda helped you sooner bro'.  
But, I understand, I guess in your own weird way you were trying to protect us or something." then he smirked and cocked an eyebrow, "Not that I need protecting man, I am John Cena after all!"

They grinned at each other.

The familiar glint was back in his eye and Randy heaved a sigh of relief, it was a good sign that things were on the mend and all would soon be right with the world again. _'Well hopefully,_' he thought as he looked over at Cody who still looked darkly troubled.

....

A beep on Randy's laptop signalled incoming of some kind and John got up to look at the screen. A grin started to spread across his face.

"On that note, I'm gonna hit the hay dudes, I'm exhausted frankly after all this drama tonight. I wanna be fresh for our _in-ring_ drama tomorrow." John paused, grin widening, "And, ah, heh heh, speaking of which, you might wanna check out that beep! Entertaining stuff!" he turned to go, looking mischievious.

"Why? What have you done?!" Randy demanded, mock accusingly.

"Nothing! Only joined you up to all the centon communities and stuff so you can keep up to date when people post about us!"

He laughed as Randy and Cody exchanged a look. Cody looked unimpressed.

"What?! Don't look at me like that! I signed you up for codiasi too, god can you imagine when Teddy gets back? It'll go wild! And I wouldn't be surprised if a whole pile of stuff about you two pops up soon! 'Cos you guys are fucking _smokin' _haawt together!"

He laughed again watching them exchange another look with eyebrows raised, this time Cody looked mortified.

"I can imagine all sorts of steamy fic inspiration appearing 'cos of your storyline!" he opened the door to leave then turned back, remembering,  
"Ooh yeah... you gotta promise me you'll do that whispering thing in the match!" he looked right at Cody as he said it, a knowing look on his face.

Randy threw his head back laughing and Cody blushed a bit, frowning, averting his eyes from John and his penetrating stare.

"Ok ok, we'll do it!" Randy smirked back at John, "As long as you agree I win the title off you at Wrestlemania 25!"  
"WHAT!! No way!"  
"Oh, well, no chance then..."  
Randy turned towards Cody, smirking, pretending to ignore John.

"Ok! ok! Man it'll be worth it! Ha! How will I keep a straight face watching you two do that?! You take so bloody long to get down to the ring my face'll be sore from holding it in!"  
"Holding what in?! You better not be talking about laughing at us!"  
"No, I'm talking about my tongue and keeping it from hitting the floor!" he winked at them still sitting down on the floor against the couch, "Night night boys!"

Closing the door behind him, he heard Randy let out a guffaw of laughter as he realised what John had said, he chuckled to himself and sighed.

He wondered if Cody would end up spending the night.  
Unlike Randy, John was 100% sure Cody _'played that way' _and was also deeply in love with his best friend. But Cody was still nursing a hurt and angry expression on his face when John left and he wondered in fact quite how badly Randy's news had effected him.

......

Once the door had closed, they both just sat there, bemused by John, not knowing what to say. Randy was watching Cody carefully, he was so quiet, unlike him, and he had a fragile look marring his strong features. Randy frowned in concern, wanting to reach out and stroke his face. But he didn't.

An awkward silence stretched between them for a few minutes before Cody spoke.

"Look, do you want me to go too man?"

Randy looked up at him, desperately wanting to tell him to stay, but desperately not wanting to mess things up.

"If you want to,"

Cody sighed, "Randy, that's not what I asked,"

Uh oh.

"Ok, well, I think you know the answer to that then,"

"I'm not sure I know the answer to anything anymore, not where you're concerned. Some things, yeah, _now_ make perfect sense, but _other_ things, now, I dunno, there's more questions, that weren't even _there_ before,"

"Yeah, I guess, fair enough then. sorry man,"

"Don't be. You don't need to be sorry for anything. Just tell me the truth. Do you _want_ me to go?"

"Ok. Ok, no," he took a deep breath before continuing, flustered, "No I don't, I want you to stay with me, but only if _you_ want to, I don't want you to stay just cos I said that, don't stay if you don't want to, I'd totally understand if you don't wanna be here man,"

"What? Randy, fuck's sake," Cody couldn't keep the frustration from his voice, "Dude, let's not go there again, why is it so hard for you to understand? To _BELIEVE_ that people might _WANT_ to be with you? I _WANT_ to stay here with you, okay? I _WANT_ to, but I just thought you might want some time, to, I dunno,_ cry_ or something, in private, but if you want me to stay, I'm here. Ok?"

"Okay," Randy was still a bit flustered but he was relaxing more as Cody's words actually sank in, thank god, Cody actually _wanted_ to stay, he'd somehow managed not to scare him off so far.

"Thankyou. Really Cody, thankyou, how is it that you're always the one knocking sense into me? Sorry it takes so long to sink into my thick skull, but I do listen to you man. Thanks for, you know, putting up with me."

"I'm your friend aren't I? It's in the contract!" They both cracked a smile, the ice broken again, "Anyway, just let me know if you _do_ want me to go, or if there's anything else I can do, ok?"

"Ok. Just don't ever go changing Codes,"

"Yeah, pretty much a given dude. What you see is what you get."

Randy looked at him hungrily, wishing he could get what he could see in front of him right now, but he said nothing, still oblivious to the lust in Cody's eyes, and mirrored in his own.

Cody however, wasn't blind at all, and decided it was time to dive straight in. Emotions couldn't get any more raw than they were right now, so what the hell.

"I heard what you said to John, about me,"

Randy's body language changed immediately, he didn't know what had made him say it to John, he knew Cody was there, and not really sleeping, what was he _thinking_?? Well he wasn't, clearly. _Fuck_!

"Er, uh, yeah. I thought you might have."

"Did you mean it? Or were you just trying to let him know you didn't want _him_ like that?"

"Cody, I.., look, I don't know what I was saying, ok, I don't wanna fuck up what we have, me and you,"

"So you didn't mean it?"

"No, that's not what I mean, I mean, _yes_, I did mean it. Look, I don't _know_ why I said it to him, I just, I don't wanna lose you man, I really need you as a _friend _right now,"

"What?" Cody shook his head, his patience wearing thin, he was getting desperate, "Randy! Look, I'm not going anywhere ok? But just fucking tell me straight! Did you mean it?_ I. need. to. know."_

Randy couldn't look at him, uncomfortable now, still not realising what Cody was really asking him. He was so desperately in love with Cody that he was blind to everything else, so convinced he was in his totally incorrect assumptions, that he couldn't see the wood for the trees and was pushing Cody away in his desperate attempt not to lose his friendship.

"Randy? Please!" Cody knelt in front of him, trying to make him look him in the eye but Randy wouldn't do it.

"OKAY! Ok, it's like, see, I hang around with John, 'cos he makes me laugh, and that makes me forget. But I hang around with you, because you make me_ remember_. You make me love."

He looked up and finally meeting Cody's eye he continued,

"I'd forgotten how to do that. And I don't wanna lose it again. It was like, I dunno, you awoke something deep within me, so yeah, I did mean it, I _am_ interested, more than interested, yes. But like I said, only if, you know..., but it's ok, I know that you don't.., you know, ..."  
he trailed off, shrugging, gesturing helplessly with his hands, feeling such a fool to find the beginnings of tears in his eyes and hung his head in shame.

But he needn't have worried.

Cody, still kneeling on the floor in front of him, was glassy eyed and slack jawed at actually hearing Randy admit that out loud. He shook himself from his reverie and reached for Randy's shoulders, pulling him closer, leaning in to gently press a soft kiss on his forehead.

Randy looked up in surprise, into the kindest, brightest, most beautifully sincere eyes he'd ever seen, and Cody spoke,

"But I do," he said simply.

Randy's heart skipped a beat.

"And you _are_ first in line. You're the _only_ one in line,"

"Cody..., I..."

Randy couldn't draw his eyes away as Cody lightly ran his thumb across his cheek, brushing the tracks of his tears away.  
Biting his lip he followed the trail with his eyes over Randy's perfect skin, his beautiful face.

His eyes continued trailing down his perfectly sculptured body, quite unable to fully comprehend yet that Randy wanted him as much as he wanted Randy.

He'd always paid alot of attention to Randy growing up, it was hard not to. He'd always just seen him as his friend Nate's super cool, goodlooking, slightly intimidating older bro', and was happy enough just knowing him and working together.  
He enjoyed the close contact definitely, but was more than happy just viewing from afar, pushing all his feelings to the back of his mind, no point in wasting time obsessing over something you'll never be in the same league as, right?

So he never for a moment thought that Randy would think of him as anything other than his little brother's friend, let alone had been harbouring any deeper feelings than that for him in return.

He couldn't understand why someone as cool as Randy would even be interested in him, Randy with his sizzling sculptured body dripping with sex and him, skinny, with his gappy teeth and computer games.

And he'd had no idea Randy was gay, absolutely no idea.

Sure Randy sometimes seemed to be flirting outrageously with him, but he always just took it as the harmless good natured locker room banter that he thought it was intended as, there was heaps of it flying around, or he figured Randy had somehow guessed Cody was gay and was just having a harmless jibe about it.

But now, here were all his wildest dreams before him and Cody couldn't help himself. He looked slowly over the muscular form in front of him. The guy simply oozed sex out of every pore, his newly sleeved arms accentuating the toned 24 inch pythons. Cody could see the definition of his washboard stomach as his tshirt clung to his body, and Cody wanted to touch it all, to taste it all.  
He'd never imagined he'd get this chance and was filled with trepidation that Randy might change his mind.

He again brushed his thumb over Randy's brow, across his cheekbone, savouring every delicate moment. Randy's eyes involuntarily fluttered closed at the gentle touch, so sweet, so innocent, he could feel Cody devouring him with his gaze and thoroughly relaxed into the amazing feeling infiltrating his senses.

Cody could see the effect he was having and added to the sensual assault, placing gentle, slow, soft kisses along Randy's brow, leading down his jawline.  
He stopped to whisper in his ear, eliciting a chuckle from them both, before making his way down to his chin, breathing in his scent, savouring every inch.  
When he reached his lips, Randy held his breath for a moment as Cody lingered slightly above, heart hammering in his chest, so close, then lowered himself into the most nervewracking moment of his life, sweet, soft, tentative, _'oh my god i'mkissingrandyorton ohmygodI'mkissing randy orton' _his brain stammered over and over.

Suddenly, he felt Randy's hands lightly on his back, under his shirt.  
He froze, disbelieving, shivering at the delicate touch.

Randy was kissing him frantically now, eager arms surrounding him now, enveloping him, hands grasping Cody's sides, urgent hands, hands seeking more, lips seeking more, more of each other, exploring each other, mouths wanting more, tongues tasting more, panting shallow breaths as tongues collided and they refused to pull apart, bodies at an awkward tangent, urgent, frantic, thrusting, clutching, reaching for each other, holding onto whatever they can grasp, panting, gasping, grasping...

"Too. far. away."  
"Need. you. here..."

Randy pulled Cody towards him, on top of him, still on the floor, against the couch,  
bodies flush together now,

chests heaving,

heavy breathing,

breathing together,

being together,

finally together now. 


	7. Chapter 7

Pt 7… Seeing Stars

This was originally a stand alone one shot, completely unconnected to this fic, but it seemed to fit in real well as an epilogue.

It was written the day after the raw that Cody and Sim defeated cryme tyme, Randy kicked Sim out of Legacy and we watched him and Cody walk off together.

_**LEGACY- A Life After Sim, **_**as in straight after Sim, as in as soon as he was out of their sight.******

"All I know is, I won the match," Cody shrugged at Sim Snuka, arms raised in a gesture saying 'hey man, don't look at me, it ain't my decision'.  
Looking as smug as could be he backed away as he walked, turning to head for the door with Randy, leaving Sim speechless in their wake.

Still in shot, Randy clapped him on the back as they walked down the corridor together, not bothering to hide how proud he was of Cody's performance. They were both desperately trying to stifle giggles and snorts of laughter at the look on Sim's face, he hadn't been told in advance what was going to happen, to get as authentic a reaction as possible from the most wooden actor in WWE.

They'd really been looking forward to shooting this segment, which probably explained the looks of utter glee gracing their faces as soon as they clapped eyes on each other after the match. They'd shared a knowing look as they shook hands while Randy warmly congratulated Cody before turning on Sim, and now could hardly keep from laughing at the priceless look on Sim's face.  
"That was fucking hilarious, you were brilliant man!" Cody whispered out the side of his mouth, and Randy sniggered,

"Shhhh, we're still in shot,"  
"Shit, sorry," Cody started giggling uncontrollably,  
"Just shut the fuck up dude!" Randy whispered a little too loudly, looking behind them, "It's ok, we're cool, but Sim's heading this way anytime now,"

"Quick, in here!" Cody pushed Randy through a doorway into a tiny room and locked the door quickly as they heard Sim punch something, now off air.

"Shit he's really pissed at us!" Cody exclaimed, pressing his ear to the door, looking delighted, Randy laughed at him and listened in too,  
"Well duh," They could hear him making his way down the corridor,

"RAAANDYYYY!" he bellowed, and they collapsed against the door shaking with silent laughter, eyes alight with mirth like giddy school boys, they raised their eyebrows at each other in glee as they heard Sim stomp past, still looking to confront them,

"WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCKING WARN ME YOU COCK HEADS? RANDY? ANSWER ME!"

"Because you can't act to save your life!" Cody shouted back, and Randy's eyes widened in shock,  
"Sssshhhh!" he whispered, putting a finger to his lips in warning as he slid down the door to crouch against it on the floor, still laughing uncontrollably as he listened.

That was almost too much for Cody and he snorted out loud at the sight of the bigger man trying to hide and stay quiet.  
"Oh you're too funny," he laughed, mimicking Randy with his finger to his lips, "Sshhh," he stage whispered, "scary Sim might hear us! Whatever will we do?!"

"Shut it you," Randy countered, a smirk playing round the edges of his mouth,  
"Or what, big man?" Cody shot back cheekily, "You gonna make me?!"

Randy stood up eyes shining at the challenge, he smiled at Cody's smirking face,  
"I might. Don't tempt me,"  
He drew himself up to his full height, taking a mock menacing step towards Cody who pretended to cower, arms over his face.  
"Oooohhhh, I'm so scared of Big. Bad. Randy." He dropped his arms from his cowering pose and leant back against the wall, confident and cocky, looking Randy in the eye, inches from his own, he folded his arms and smiled.  
"I thought I told you to shut it?" Randy whispered.  
"Make me," Cody challenged.

Randy couldn't help himself, he was lost in Cody's eyes, they were so close, he could feel the heat radiating off Cody's body, his heart was racing, he knew he was staring, and he couldn't take the smile off his face.

"Shhhhh," he whispered again, placing his finger on Cody's lips this time.

He could feel his heat rise, his heart practically hammering out of his chest, as he leant in and captured Cody's mouth with his own.  
He ran his hand lightly around Cody's hairline and hearing him gasp, deepened the kiss as his mouth opened, all the time wondering what on earth he was doing.

"You are so fucking hot," he whispered into Cody's ear as he drew back for breath, suddenly realising Cody was immobile beneath him. He started to panic, tore his gaze away, something he realised he'd been unable to do alot lately.

"Randy..." Cody exhaled at the loss of contact, and opened his eyes to see him turning away, he hadn't realised he'd been holding his breath and reached out dragging Randy back to him, crushing their lips together for all he was worth.

Teeth clashing, tongues lashing, hands clawing the skin on each others back feeling each other for the very first time, bringing them closer together than ever before.  
Randy was gently cupping Cody's face as they kissd, and again trailed his fingers along the sensitive hairline behind Cody's ear, causing him to shudder involuntarily with pure tingly bliss.

He inadvertantly grabbed Randy's arse hard as the shudder thrust him forward, crushing their crotches together, elicting a guttoral moan from both their mouths as their cocks twitched in unison, feeling each others heat.  
Randy drew back gasping, chest heaving, deep breathing, staring into Cody's heavily lidded eyes, half closed in lust, but as Randy drew away they snapped open to attention, worry marring his features momentarily, but Randy never broke the gaze as he dropped to his knees, running his hands down Cody's lithe body in approval.  
His eyes then followed his hands, down, down,... to his waistband...

He looked back up into Cody's eyes, wide again, holding his breath in anticipation, Randy's face mere centimetres from his swollen package.

He kept his eyes glued to Cody's as he flipped the elastic of his trunks down over his balls, leaving him straining to attention, his shallow breaths ghosting over Cody's overheated and oversensitive skin.

Randy finally lowered his eyes, and the hungry look in them as they locked onto their target almost made Cody shoot his load in Randy's face there and then without even being touched.

Randy looked back up at the sound of the sharp inhalation, looking Cody straight in the eye again as he took him in hand and slowly lowered his mouth to take a deliberately tentative lick at his engorged head, before completely enveloping him in his mouth in one go.

It was the hottest thing Cody had ever seen.

He cried out in ecstatic shock at the unexpected action, he was so close to the edge right now. Randy didn't move, just stayed perfectly still as Cody bucked uncontrollably for a minute and got his breath back. When he had stilled, Randy sucked in his cheeks and slowly drew his mouth up and over the leaking slit, licking back the whole way down the veiny underside, pulling Cody's trunks all the way off.

His eyes were now focused firmly on the task at hand, with one hand on his throbbing cock, keeping pressure firmly at the base of the shaft, he turned his attention to Cody's balls, gently sucking first one then the other slowly, completely into his mouth, rolling each one around his tongue and sucking softly before easing it back out. He pressed the heel of his other hand firmly into the small patch of skin stretched between his balls and his arse, fingers resting lightly between his arse cheeks, hovering delicately over his quivering hole.

"Ooohheurrrghahhh," Cody murmered incomprehensibly, about all he was capable of as Randy continued to suck, and pumped the full length of his cock each time, gently putting extra pressure at the base before bringing his hand back up.  
He thought it was time to up the ante and lifted Cody's leg up onto his shoulder, gaining access to that extra sensitive bit under his balls, hungrily swallowing his cock again just the once before moving lower, sucking hard at the special pressure point inbetween pressing with his hand, feeling his arse cheeks clench each time as he found a rhythm.

He drew back, spitting into his hand and looking up directly into Cody's eyes again swallowed his cock in one.  
Cody spasmed involuntarily above him as Randy ran his finger along Cody's arse, gently entering him, pushing up a little as he relaxed then clenched hard, panting heavily. A bit further in. Back out, in, and all the way back out, head bobbing all the while, more spit then slowly back all the way in, oh god all the way in, and back out, then another finger, just a little, in and out, and both fingers all the way back thrusting deeply as far as he could go, sucking simultaneously.  
_'and now for the fireworks,' _Randy thought, going for Cody's prostate for the first time, Cody cried out as the new sensation fully overwhelmed him, his leg giving way beneath him, but Randy was ready for it and held him up, head bobbing furiously, thrusting deep hitting the spot every time, feeling the pressure building inside of him, and he felt Cody grasping his hair, arms flailing, back arched, only his shoulders pressed against the wall, gasping and tense, and tense, so tense,

holding his breath, barely a whimper...

very still....

trembling...

...and Cody screamed out loud as his orgasm engulfed him, seeing stars, panting heavily, head thrown back, thrusting deep into Randy's mouth as he took everything he gave him, his fingers embedded as his arse clenched tightly around him, back arched, bucking uncontrollably.  
Randy watched Cody in the throes of ecstacy and it was most beautiful thing he had ever seen, sending him over the edge in turn as their eyes briefly locked.

Time stopped,

Randy rested his forehead on Cody's stomach, waiting for his breathing to subside and felt him start to relax. He eased his fingers out and kissed the inside of Cody's thigh as he looked up at him, Cody's eyes still closed, chest still heaving.  
He was still holding Cody up in the air, slowly releasing his grip and slowly, gingerly, removing his leg from his shoulder, Cody's legs instantly buckled beneath him as he sank to the floor against the wall, knees bent, head between them, shaking a little, seeing stars a little.

Randy knelt quietly in front of him, just looking, and reached out taking hold of Cody's hands, just holding them gently, just sitting, just waiting...

Cody couldn't talk.  
He didn't have any words.  
He felt like his brain had exploded. He shook his head a little as though to clear it.  
He finally looked up, straight into Randy's eyes, this time his heart exploded, and he saw stars all over again.

He smiled.

"Randy ..."

Randy smiled too, but he could only squeeze Cody's hand in response.

He didn't have any words either. 


End file.
